song "Cool conversation" (Jalacy Hawkins)

Not found in either BMI nor ASCAP databases.

Cover versions

1998 Screamin' Jay Hawkins
1998 Screamin' Jay Hawkins	2CD AT LAST	FR: Last Call 3035622 / Arcade ARC 334
1998 various artists	CD	DE: Loudsprecher

Lyrics

1998 Screamin' Jay Hawkins   Evening! Hello Welcome to the show I want you to sit down and stick around Listen to the sound that I'm about to put down I'm gonna lay something on you tonight to got to be right So sit tight, don't bite cause I'm doing AEEverything right tonight Meanwhile let's talk about people Man! Man, you in the green dress Would, would you turn around and close your legs, you're disturbin' me Or put a mussel on that beast there that is hangin' out under your dress My name is Sweet Daddy Hawk And I've come here to talk I wanna tell you bout all the good things in this world everybody wants to get a part of There are people, people here tonight who not only want to get involved with somebody There are men and women that not get their proper share of love There's somebody in here tonight who needs to be saved Because you're doin' somethin' wrong Let me put it to you in a language you might understand We're talkin' about love, the subject right now is love If you can't do nothing with it when you get it - quit it! And let somebody else get it who know what to do with it And that's the kind of love we're talkin' about You see a girl you want? Don't tell her! Don't beat around the bush Get in the bush and beat like hell. Enjoy yourself! Candy is dandy but sex will not rot your teeth If you can't beat 'em - eat 'em! That's the name of the game I'm talkin' about the [...] on recreation Coupled with manual dexterity and a hell of a lot of a carniviorous activity Get right on down into it, baby I want you to have what have is known as a [...] Put it around your neck Get down on your knees and [...] appetite Enjoy the meal When it's walkin' and talkin' It's all good for you And you girls, I don't care how big a man is No matter how big it is - it will fit! The only part of Popeye that don't get rusty Is the part he keeps in olive oil There was an old lady who lived in a juke Had so many children [...] fell thru Consider another animation guy: Superman! Only Superman can come runnin'! Yeah, you hear the blues? We got what is known as the Memphis Sound The blues is bein' put down It's the kind of music you can talk trash In the heat of the meat, in the mass of the ass The shade of the [...] beats the hard boilin' sun   We're talkin' about Rudolph Valentino Here's a man with a five pound thong who can breathe thru his ears He got a wart on his index finger Aaah, there's nothing wrong with that Do you realize Batman was havin' a hell of a constitution? Cause there's no zipper on his tights In the days of old and the nights of bold And the cavemen lived indigious They dropped their load on the side of the road They were son of a bitches We' gotta tell it like it is Like the wolf... the wolf said: "Little Red Ridin' Hood, Little Red Ridin' Hood, I'm gonna rape you!" She said: "No, you ain't, daddy You gotta stick to the book, you gotta eat me!" Tell it like it is Poetry! I love poetry I stopped by the mental institution this morning And there was this old crazy man standin' there And he said: "Come here!" I said: "Whatchu want?" He said: "Put your ear against that wall and listen!" And I listen... and I say: "I don't hear nuthin'." He said: "It been like that aaaaaall day long..." And downstairs in this office, there was some crazy man in the psychiatrist's office Talkin' bout WHOA, WHOO! PFFRRT WHOA my goodness! ... Butterflies, butterflies flyin' all over me And the doctor says, well PFFRRT...PFFRRT PFFRRT........... shit! Don't blow on me You never know, if you see people actin' normal nowadays they probably just ain't well There are people dyin' today who ain't never died before There was two men smokin' them funny cigarettes with no name on it And all of a sudden they heard the police siren So the guy looked around, he sez: "I gotta find a place to hide the stuff" He sez:"Put it up there with the cuckoo clock!" The police come in, they checked the place out They didn't find nuthin', so they left And the guy says: "Get the stuff out the cuckoo clock, man" He said: "Man, we gotta wait until the cuckoo come out... He'll be out about ten minutes..." They waited ten, fifteen, twenty, half an hour, forty-five minutes, an hour And by the time an hour and a half was up the door opened and here come the cuckoo Cuckoo come out with sunshades on, walkin' around real cool He looked at the two men, he said: "What time is it, babe?" Yeeah, life is like that, you have to understand Clark Gable And Betty Grable Went to the stable He pulled out his cable He stuck it in her navel And they had Mabel And that's movie life That's Hollywood Well, let's bring it into the city Let's go down South Let's stop first in Memphis Memphis, Tennessee Be careful, strange things are goin' on in the world today This is Screamin' Jay comin' your way talkin' to you today about everything that goes on anyway Mornin' noon, night and day They call me Filthy McNasty Mister Sweet Daddy Hawk But I have been tryin' layin' things on you that is a little bit different I don't want you to think that you know it all because I don't But there are things you should understand That happen to women that don't happen to man: S. E. X. - Sex! Now there's a topic There is a conversation, there's a negotiation that the whole wide world would like to know about For example: A kiss is uptown shopping for downtown business We're talkin' about sex And it's pure, raw, unadulterated existence And man, man knows not what happen to him Jack and Jill went up the hill To get a "pearl" [...] of water And you know that's a damn lie because water don't run uphill Sure the cow jumped over the moon You're the [...] tune - that man's hands was cold Aowh, tell it like it is Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a big phall All the king's horses and all the king's men... Shit! I like it You realize when you listen the blues If your rent's not paid You ain't have nothing to eat You don't even know where you're goin' to sleep in the next night You got the blues A better blues, a better way to explain the blues When a man loose his woman Or a wife loose her husband - to another man I saw two old women, one was 195 and the other was 296 And they're walkin' down Beale Street in Memphis And one old lady said: "I smell smoke burnin'." And the other old lady said: "Maybe we're walkin' too fast." Take your time There's been a great deal of money in this country on makin' huge weapons So they could be the most powerful country in the world But a little country came out of South America with one of the world's greatest weapons It's called Kojak's It keeps the Reds in, the Poles out The Greeks busy and the French hungry Watch out for Kojaks I just wanna tell it like is Why do women wear lipstick? Danger - wrong hole! Gotta get down to it, we gotta get down to the nitty gritty While we're at it, the manager just walked up and gave me a piece of paper Mister [...] told me: "This is about an automobile outside A lady bout the name of Helen Hunt lost her pocket book and they found it So if you want your pocket book back whoever you are Go to hell and hunt for it Now I wanna tell ya 'bout the books I will tell you bout the books we gonna sell here tonight So listen [...] in case you hear a book you wanna get The first book is called "The Long Brown Trail" by Diarrhoea Joe "Cellar Beware" by Don Bendover "The Open Commoner" by Seymour Harry "The Pertruding [...]" by Love A. Dick "The Yellow Stream" by I. P. Daily "Buy A Waterfalls" by U. P. Standing Here's an adventure novel, "The Wildcat's Revenge" by Claude Balls "The Bride's First Night" by Peter B. Kind "Blood On The Picknick Ground" by Buster Cherry Here's a novel from Russia: "The Sex Man Russian" by Ivan Torshitzov "The Rooster's Mistake" by Rolla Duck "Rip In The Mattress" by Missed Her Completely And we got one more Russian novel "The Tale of a Tragedy of the Russian Novel" by "Whoyadunn" Catcha Gagoff Thank you Now we got, we got some nice salt sea seafood We wanna tell you about laughtertale, smothered [...] hips and baboon rectums There's nothing, nothing in the world If you can't move your hips Give up your lips If you can't stand on your knees Lay down and plea Tell it like it is How deep, how deep can we go? Okay, there's no end to how deep we can go Fellows, gimme a little soft music now I gotta talk about a good friend of mine Way back in the beginning of time we had a man in this country His name was Franck Buck - bring him back alive You remember Frank Buck days? bring him back alive He's goin' to the jungle, catch the wildest beast and bring 'em back alive Frank Buck went into the jungle They found a beast, three times bigger than King Kong And it was a gorilla They brought her back They found out the poor girl was in heat She wanted somebody to make love to her So they brought in Frank Buck, this great hunter Can you satisfy this woman? Frank Buck said: "Wait a minute Tie her right hand down, tie her left hand down Tie her right leg down, tie her left leg down And put a pillow over that woman's face, I don't wanna look at it Put a guy there at the door with a shotgun If there's someting goin' wrong I want you to kill this chick!" Then he had a long drink of Jack Daniels Had two glasses of Champagne Took off his clothes, walked into the cage And stood there prepared to ram bang this poor gorilla He fell upon this gorilla with a sudden crush like a volcano he rocked in He was doin' all right for about three or four minutes there All of a sudden an earthquake struck And he had to move quite fast to the right And the gorilla broke one leg a-loose And wrapped it around Frank Buck He raised up in the air and fell down with a sudden trash - PHEW! The gorilla snatched one arm loose And wrapped it around Frank Buck's head He raised back and moved to the left and came in with a sudden [...] And the gorilla broke that remaining leg and that remaining arm loose Put Franck Buck in a [...] grip and he started howlin' "Help! Help!" But they were wailin', man, they were rockin' He was gettin' a cookie And the guy with the shotgun walked in, he says Move your head over to the right and I blow its head off He said: "Don't kill her, fool, pull the mask off this chick I want to kiss her one time - cause it's good!" We gotta go, it's almost the end of the show So I'm gonna say to you: "Goodnight!" Thank you very much