Text "Die Universität: Zehn persönliche Ansichten (4)" (Franz Hohler)

Aus dem Journal der Universität Zürich Nr. 4/96 (1996).

Es handelt sich um eine erweiterte englische Fassung einer der sogenannten "Wegwerfgeschichten" aus dem Programm Doppelgriffe (1970), nämlich "Ektisch".

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Und jetzt eine Geschichte

 et maintenant une histoire

 e adesso una storia

 y ahora un cuentito

 and now a short-story,

which I'll tell you in English, it is about a language, which you don't know, this language is called

 

Ectic

Ectic belongs to the dead languages, and I think it is the most interesting of all, because it had only two words. These two words were "M" and "Saskrüptloxptqwrstfgaksolömpääghrcks". "M" is female and means "What's the matter?" and "Saskrüptloxptqwrstfgaksolömpääghrcks" is male and means "nothing".

 The reason for that was, that the Ectic lived in a volcanic crater, which still rumbled from time to time. Whenever it did, Ectic women started up and cried: "M?", whereupon their husbands said calmingly: "Saskrüptloxptqwrstfgaksolmpääghrcks." This was the only thing the Ectic talked about; everything else they did in such a hurry, that they had no time left to speak. The history of the Ectics was rather uneventful. Only once, because of uncommonly loud and frequent rumblings of the crater, there was a political demonstration, when people gathered in front of the town-hall shouting: "M! M! M!" The president of Ectia appeared on the balcony and made a speech in which he declared: "Saskrüptloxptqwrstfgaksolömpäährcks." This time, however, the answer was not quite appropriate. The president himself knew that, but, tragically, Ectic didn't have any other words. Soon afterwards, therefore, it belonged to the dead languages.

 

I would like to put you 3 questions referring to this shortstory.

 1st question: What would you have done, if you would have been the Information Officer of the president of Ectia?

 2nd question: Did you ever have the feeling that you should dispose of another language to express yourself to the public?

 3d question: When did you answer the question "What's the matter?" for the last time by "Saskrüptloxptqwrstfgaksolömpääghrcks", although you knew exactly that under your feet a vulcan was rumbling?

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