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| [[image:richards_keith001.jpg|framed|right|Keith Richards is God]]
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| <b>Keith Richards</b> plays guitar in the [[Rolling Stones]].
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| * 1965 Knocked out by electric shock onstage after whacking microphone with guitar
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| * 1969 Wrecks his 19-foot Nazi staff car, gets it repaired, then wrecks it down embankment
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| * 1973 (Or maybe it was '74...) Falls asleep and crashes into speaker, breaking nose
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| * 1974 Falls asleep mid-sentence during live television interview
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| * 1980 Declares in interview, "I've been drunk for 27 years"
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| * 1981 Doesn't recognize title of new Stones album: “What’s this <i>Tattoo you</i>?”
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| * 1998 While reaching for book in home library, gets pummeled by avalanche of texts. Suffers three broken ribs and punctured lung
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| * 2006 Falls out of coconut tree in Fiji
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| * 2007 Claims he snorted Dad's ashes (later denies snorting Dad's ashes)
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| * 2008 Gives key to his longevity: "I'm doomed to live"
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| Source: "[http://www.aarpmagazine.org/people/50_reasons_to_love_being_50.html 50 reasons to love being 50+]"
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| ==Keith Richards' greatest fuckups==
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| {| class=wikitable | |
| ! Date !! Place !! Fuckup !! Available on
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| | 1969.11.09 || Oakland, Coliseum Arena (2nd show) || Live with me [second verse] || bootleg <i>Live'r than they'll ever be</i>
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| | 1971.03.26 || London, Marquee Club || Midnight rambler [bum note] || video
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| | 1975 || Happy || || bootleg <i>Live in the USA</i>
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| | 1975.06.17 || Toronto, Maple Leaf Gardens || Brown sugar
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| | 1977.03.02 || Toronto || Getting busted
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| | 1982.06.25 || London, Wembley Stadium || She's so cold || video
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| | 1993.02.13 || Boston, Orpheum Theater || Before they make me run [X-Pensive Winos]
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| | 1995.02.25 || Johannesburg || Sympathy for the Devil [solo]
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| | 1997.09.23 || Chicago, Soldier Field || Satisfaction
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| | 1999.06.11or12 || London, Wembley Stadium || Gimme shelter [with Mick Jagger sayin' "Keith what you're doin'?"]
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| | 1999.06.20 || Köln, Müngersdorfer Stadion || Like a rolling stone
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| | 2002.11.09 || San Francisco, Pacific Bell Park || Brown sugar
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| | 2003.07.30 || Toronto, Downsview Park, "SARSstock Concert" || Happy || DVD
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| | 2003.01.16 || New York, Madison Square Garden || Shattered [started with "Satisfaction"] ||
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| | 2003.01.16 || New York, Madison Square Garden || Satisfaction [started intro twice] ||
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| | 2003.08.16 || Utrecht, Muziekcentrum Vredenburg || Brown sugar
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| | 2003.08.19 || Amsterdam, Arena || Brown sugar
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| | 2005.09.15 || East Rutherford, Giants Stadium || Brown sugar
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| | 2005.09.24 || Columbus, Nationwide Arena || Brown sugar
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| | 2005.09.26 || Toronto || Start me up
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| |}
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| Honorable mentions:
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| * not letting Ronnie contribute more songs since 1989
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| * album <i>A bigger bang</i>
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| PS: Could it be Keith likes to fuck up "Brown sugar" because it is a Mick song?
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| == Trivia ==
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| * In the movie <i>Naked</i> (1993) a billsticker pastes a poster for Therapy's single <i>Teethgrinder</i> (1992) over a poster for Keith Richards' album <i>Main offender</i> (1992)
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